I AM

I’m a stormy night
A knot too tight
Something that can’t be right

I’m a coral in blue water
Something that shouldn’t matter
Not one for ever after

I’m a fall on a satday night
A jealous midnight fight
A hug too tight

I’m a cold draught
Lust that is fraught
A lesson best not taught

I’m a book you are ashamed of
A song you are shy of
A painting that gets you off

But it is just all of you
That is all of me.

The A to Z of my life.

A can only be for Art. My first love.

B is for all three of my babies. Three original works of art!

C is for a precious, cherished, safe, warm and very loving childhood.

D is for derrieres. Nothing is the world is as beautiful as a lovely butt on a woman.

E is for English. A language without which I couldn’t have taken countless journeys through books.

F is for fashion. Everyone must look good. It will make for a delightful world.

G is for groove! Music, my teacher, mentor, mistress, therapist and time travel capsule. I wouldn’t be me without it.

H is for history. For the holocaust. For all that is past that is defining our future. History in all forms, books, architecture, art that takes you to a mystical, magical place.

I is for all kinds of ink. Ink in calligraphy pens, ink on skin, things inked in the heart.

J is for Jim.

K is for kodaikanal and the madness of youth. Dirt bikes, long treks, magic mushrooms, marijuana and heartbreaks.

L is for falling in love. That hopeless feeling that in contrast is only full of hope. That which you think you will never ever have when you go through a heartbreak but which walks in through your door silently and gives you a warm hug that’s all tingly too.

M is the greatest woman in the world. My mother. Warm hugs, warm cooking, warm smiles, warm tuck in’s, warm soups when you are sick.

N is for nights lit with candles. Nights of silent tears. Nights of hands brushed against skin that is full of promise. Nights that are epic, legendary and is a huge part of my history if I ever write down my memoirs.

O is a blank now. Something to be filled in the future then?

P is for princess! My greatest joy!

Q is for quaint. For quaint old houses. Furniture. Florence. Flowerpots. Birdhouses. Picket fences. Door knockers. And the eternal romance it brings.

R is for the distant rumble of thunder that is anticipation of a brewing storm.

S is for all the women with names starting with ‘S’ that have walked in to my life and left a mark. Starting with my mother.

T is travel. All those journeys taken and yet to be taken.

U is for unwinding. For lazing around on the couch, cuddling and watching movies and just dozing off and for making lazy love.

V is for Valejo and his erotic art.

W is for water. It is me. It is the sea. It is the storm. It is the drink. It is the lakes and the rivers. It is a waterfall. It is tears.

X is a kiss. Little ones. Long drawn out ones. Wet ones. Hard ones. Tender ones.

Y is for yesterdays and all the memories.

And Z can only be a blessedly good snug sleep.

Water

I stare at her.

Water.

She languishes there.

Sensuous, curvy,

mysterious, dark.

Inviting me to touch

drink, lick.

Dive in, she says,

drown in me,

get in me.

She shifts shape.

Just a little.

I gasp.

Breathless.

‘Do you like it?

I thought you would

like to see

a little bit more.’

‘Come

let me taste

your tongue,

your lips.’

I open my lips

and she flows in

over my raw skin

cascading over my tongue

flooding my mouth

exploding in my brain

and blowing out

through my eyeballs.

Water.

Who was still

all this time

is my new heroin.

August 27^th, 2012

Arun kumar r

Sandra

In your memory grim prophet of love :)

16th august.

Love is a dog from hell-

Charles Bukowski

Sandra

is the slim tall

ear-ringed

bedroom damsel

dressed in a long

gown

she's always high

in heels

spirit

pills

booze

Sandra leans out of

her chair

leans toward

Glendale

I wait for her head

to hit the closet

doorknob

as she attempts to

light

a new cigarette on an

almost burnt-out

one

at 32 she likes

young neat

unscratched boys

with faces like the bottoms

of new saucers

she has proclaimed as much

to me

has brought her prizes

over for me to view:

silent blonde zeros of young

flesh

who

a) sit

b) stand

c) talk

at her command

sometimes she brings one

sometimes two

sometimes three

for me to

view

Sandra looks very good in

long gowns

Sandra could probably break

a man's heart

I hope she finds

one.

Courting Chaos

A cognac furnace

Simmering, warm and wet

A summer night

Wrapped in woolen knit

Coveting

And courting chaos

Stunted myelin

Sputter and spark

A darkened blind

Carelessly brushed

A glimpse of warmth

For the vagabond

No craving for the hearth

The warmth glimpsed enough

With frost licking the skin

Warmer than fires of passion

Convince or convinced

Sell or already sold

like deception

The lie is the truth

Advertising and the emotional connection.

Oft I hear these words at meetings when I am presenting scripts.

‘It has to have an emotional appeal.’

This from the clients point of view mean two things. Happy or sad.

Actually strike out sad. It is happy and/or inspiring.

Is that all consumers are capable of? Is that all brands can promise? A hint of a smile or a determined grunt. Nothing deeper. Don’t get visceral with the consumer.

Are these true emotions?

Why can’t we try to find that emotional g spot instead of leaving it at a chaste kiss?

Imagine if everything around us was designed to be a high strung experience across all spectrums of emotions that we are capable of?

It exists in product design. It exists in fashion. It exists in architecture. It exists in automobile design.

Paintings do it. Music does it. Films do it.

But very rarely in commercials. And closer to home, India, you could stand to loose your job if your ads made your consumer burst in to tears, violently disturbed him/her, made one feel erotic or got visceral in any manner.

And so the advertising people are churning out safe, happy, shiny ads and getting an affectionate ruffling on the head by the client. ( Yes. Me too. )

But I was happy to note that there are brands and creative people out there that are doing precisely this. Below I have compiled some work that does this.

Chocolate ice cream. Ever feel a tad erotic, sensual and a wee bit more alive when you eat a delicious one??

Check out this ad for magnum. That sinful and very sensual feeling that eating a chocolate icecream gives you.

You are in an elevator, or a club or on the streets and a beautiful man or woman passes you by and you get a whiff of his/her perfume and your olfactory senses burn with synapses going wild sending signals to your brain and the synapses are given a no red signal clearance all the way to where the unreasonable sensual reactor resides.

This one for Pacorabane XS. Caution - nudity

What a wonderful way to tell us that this planet is a living breathing thing.

Greenpeace.

Brandalism, an ongoing movement in London during the Olympics does this. Though they are thumbing their nose at big brand advertising, it does so by getting under your skin and making that point. In a way a brilliant example of compelling communication in print.

It might be too exhaustive to take up print work done with this philosophy and possibly will require some extensive research so I will leave you with a few ads from a brand that you all probably know. Hans brinker budget hotels done by my favourite creative house, kessels Kramer, which I was fortunate to spend a day at. Brutally frank, truthful and real. 

Like ads should be.

Me and Irene.

25th August 2011. Somewhere over New York City.

‘We can not land as there is an earthquake in progress’, announced the captain as my flight circled endlessly over JFK International airport.

Could this be it. The apocalypse that I have watched on endless apocalyptic films about New York. Always New york. The city has been ravaged and plundered by giant prehistoric predators, hundred foot waves, volcanoes, aliens, zombies, viruses, bad musicals, jay z…

Anyway, back to, could this be it? The apocalyptic destruction of the united states. As the city below me goes up in flames and cavernous splitting up of the earth my aircraft careens down with its 300 odd screaming passengers, I become the lone survivor?

‘We have been cleared for landing ladies and gentlemen’, crackles the speakers.

So no.

I clear the customs, which was a total let down. No immigration official on the other side with piercing blue eyes and a scowl. No interrogatory questions. No ‘ please step this way sir.’

Adventure and apocalyptic broodings were still in the air. Oh just you wait!

‘Irene?’

‘Irene.’

‘Hurricane?’

‘Hurricane Irene, yup.’

A hurricane in New york! This city was really spreading out its apocalyptic red carpet for me.

25^th of august 2011. A sunny day in New york. Evening traffic inching its way to and from Manhattan. The newscaster on the radio shuffling between news about the earthquake that could have destroyed the city to the hurricane that was rushing towards the city to destroy it. And the emotion that I felt was glee. An unabashed excitement knowing that I was somehow a part of newscasts flashing across the world.

Chaos and confusion reigned with my cast and crew. We did venture out scouting locations in the intermittent drizzle always with the radio on. Parts of New york was evacuated treating me to a visual improbability. An almost deserted Manhattan.

We hoarded food and barricaded ourselves in our hotel rooms glued to TV sets and juiced on Jack.

Irene did come. Leaving us all a little wet and breathless. But she was reasonably gentle.

The shoot did get postponed. There was some tense moments in the shuffling of schedules of the entire cast and crew. But Irene gifted us two glorious days of magical sunlight to shoot with.

New York. Where nothing is as you expect.

A letter to my daughter.

Hey everyone!

Yeah its been too long since the last post. Too many things to catch up on. And having a daughter on the cusp of the dreaded teenage years isn't helping. I am sure a lot of you out there will understand. Its darn difficult. This parenting thing. Especially since you have no practice at all!

I was getting quite sick of the repeated 'have you done your home work?', 'have you done your revisions?', 'how is that project coming along?', 'what!!!????? you have to submit a project tomorrow?? It's 10 pm!!'.

So i wrote her a letter. This is it. Maybe it might be of help to you my clueless fellow parents. :)

My darling princess,

I realize that you are going through one of the most bewildering times in your life. Trying to understand a whole new world opening up to you as you go from being a little girl to a young beautiful lady.

I will not say I know and understand what you are going through. Because you see this is the first time I am going through this as a papa too. The first time I am living through what you are also living through. To top it all you are a girl and I am not.

So in a sense I am also learning with you.

I am sure you have had a difficult time growing up knowing your parents are separated. You see, things in the adult world are really very complicated. As I am sure it is in your world of being 11. And it is complicated to explain what went wrong. Just like I am sure it is sometimes difficult for you to explain to me about something in your life. But I think we must both try. Because we are family. Because you are very important to me.

I think the world changed a lot from when me and your mother was young to now. I think we changed as well. And what mattered to us, how we viewed the word was different to each of us as we grew up.

But we truly loved one another at one time. And I still care a lot for your mother and that is why we are both working really hard to make sure both you and jd have things as easy and as smooth as we can make it. We will always be there for you both. Always and unconditionally.

Because you see we are blessed to have you and jd as a daughter and son. Because the joy I feel when I see you and jd growing up is probably as happy as I ever will be.

But I am truly sorry for all the confusion and pain you must have gone through.

When I was your age I lied too. I also lost my books. I also hid my homework. I also had secrets. And I also upset appapa and ammama no end. My grades slipped from the time I was in my 8^th and ended up with me scoring badly in my 10^th grade board exams. Well actually it wasn’t the low score that shocked me but the fact that I scored 59.9 after studying only ten days. A .1 more mark could have given me a first class. And some respect.

And so I promised myself I would mend my ways if only I got in to a proper college or a +2 school. Fortunately I did get in to a +2 school. Not that I stopped having fun or being mischievous. But I started taking responsibility for my own studies. I realized the trick was in working as hard as I would at doing something mischievous.

And so years later in law college I reversed the table by becoming known as the “dude” but scoring over 70 percent in my final exams shocking my fellow classmates.

And then quit practicing law to follow my heart. And worked tireless hours, day and night, different cities, sometimes without salary or food or even a proper place to sleep to learn the one subject that was not taught to me in all my 16 years of studies. Art. But you know what? I had so much fun doing it.

And so now I am head of creative in a company that is famous worldwide. And I am not done yet.

But I often think what if I had done better in school? What if my grades had got me to a college that taught art, design and technology? Would I then have made a movie like avatar or a wonderful animated film watched by billions?

And so I want to share a few things that I learned along the way. Hopefully you will learn from the mistakes I made so you do not need to repeat them again. Of course you will need to make your own mistakes and learn from them, but here is a little help J

Stand up for what is right even if it makes you unpopular.

Be a good friend. And I promise you it will reward you one day in a way you never imagined.

Try not to lie. Because for some reason it always comes back and bites you in the ass. Trust me, I know.

Never steal or destroy another person’s things. Think of your favourite thing and how it would feel if someone took it away or destroyed it.

A day wasted today is a day wasted forever.

Everything you learn today will one day come to your rescue.

Respect others and this will make other people respect you. Respect like love can not be bought.

A broken heart will one day be a stronger heart.

Send a prayer out to the universe everyday. And each day you will realize what is really important to you.

Dress well and look good. If you don’t you are helping make this world an ugly place.

You and only you are responsible for your happiness. So if something makes you sad or unhappy or hurts you, remember you have the power to change it.

Read everything you can get your hands on. There is nothing called enough knowledge.

Draw and paint. It’s your hearts way of expressing what words cannot.

Every person you meet can teach you something new.

And most importantly don’t forget to have a whole lot of fun!

I know I am not a perfect papa and I know I have a bad temper. But with your love and help I think I can be a better papa to you.

I fell in love with you when I first saw your pink wrinkly face. I love you each day even though some days are not the greatest. And I will always love you even if you are too busy to return my calls someday.

Your papa.

March 16, 2012