Yeah its been too long since the last post. Too many things to catch up on. And having a daughter on the cusp of the dreaded teenage years isn't helping. I am sure a lot of you out there will understand. Its darn difficult. This parenting thing. Especially since you have no practice at all!
I was getting quite sick of the repeated 'have you done your home work?', 'have you done your revisions?', 'how is that project coming along?', 'what!!!????? you have to submit a project tomorrow?? It's 10 pm!!'.
So i wrote her a letter. This is it. Maybe it might be of help to you my clueless fellow parents. :)
My darling princess,
I realize that you are going through one of the most bewildering times in your life. Trying to understand a whole new world opening up to you as you go from being a little girl to a young beautiful lady.
I will not say I know and understand what you are going through. Because you see this is the first time I am going through this as a papa too. The first time I am living through what you are also living through. To top it all you are a girl and I am not.
So in a sense I am also learning with you.
I am sure you have had a difficult time growing up knowing your parents are separated. You see, things in the adult world are really very complicated. As I am sure it is in your world of being 11. And it is complicated to explain what went wrong. Just like I am sure it is sometimes difficult for you to explain to me about something in your life. But I think we must both try. Because we are family. Because you are very important to me.
I think the world changed a lot from when me and your mother was young to now. I think we changed as well. And what mattered to us, how we viewed the word was different to each of us as we grew up.
But we truly loved one another at one time. And I still care a lot for your mother and that is why we are both working really hard to make sure both you and jd have things as easy and as smooth as we can make it. We will always be there for you both. Always and unconditionally.
Because you see we are blessed to have you and jd as a daughter and son. Because the joy I feel when I see you and jd growing up is probably as happy as I ever will be.
But I am truly sorry for all the confusion and pain you must have gone through.
When I was your age I lied too. I also lost my books. I also hid my homework. I also had secrets. And I also upset appapa and ammama no end. My grades slipped from the time I was in my 8th and ended up with me scoring badly in my 10th grade board exams. Well actually it wasn’t the low score that shocked me but the fact that I scored 59.9 after studying only ten days. A .1 more mark could have given me a first class. And some respect.
And so I promised myself I would mend my ways if only I got in to a proper college or a +2 school. Fortunately I did get in to a +2 school. Not that I stopped having fun or being mischievous. But I started taking responsibility for my own studies. I realized the trick was in working as hard as I would at doing something mischievous.
And so years later in law college I reversed the table by becoming known as the “dude” but scoring over 70 percent in my final exams shocking my fellow classmates.
And then quit practicing law to follow my heart. And worked tireless hours, day and night, different cities, sometimes without salary or food or even a proper place to sleep to learn the one subject that was not taught to me in all my 16 years of studies. Art. But you know what? I had so much fun doing it.
And so now I am head of creative in a company that is famous worldwide. And I am not done yet.
But I often think what if I had done better in school? What if my grades had got me to a college that taught art, design and technology? Would I then have made a movie like avatar or a wonderful animated film watched by billions?
And so I want to share a few things that I learned along the way. Hopefully you will learn from the mistakes I made so you do not need to repeat them again. Of course you will need to make your own mistakes and learn from them, but here is a little help J
Stand up for what is right even if it makes you unpopular.
Be a good friend. And I promise you it will reward you one day in a way you never imagined.
Try not to lie. Because for some reason it always comes back and bites you in the ass. Trust me, I know.
Never steal or destroy another person’s things. Think of your favourite thing and how it would feel if someone took it away or destroyed it.
A day wasted today is a day wasted forever.
Everything you learn today will one day come to your rescue.
Respect others and this will make other people respect you. Respect like love can not be bought.
A broken heart will one day be a stronger heart.
Send a prayer out to the universe everyday. And each day you will realize what is really important to you.
Dress well and look good. If you don’t you are helping make this world an ugly place.
You and only you are responsible for your happiness. So if something makes you sad or unhappy or hurts you, remember you have the power to change it.
Read everything you can get your hands on. There is nothing called enough knowledge.
Draw and paint. It’s your hearts way of expressing what words cannot.
Every person you meet can teach you something new.
And most importantly don’t forget to have a whole lot of fun!
I know I am not a perfect papa and I know I have a bad temper. But with your love and help I think I can be a better papa to you.
I fell in love with you when I first saw your pink wrinkly face. I love you each day even though some days are not the greatest. And I will always love you even if you are too busy to return my calls someday.
March 16, 2012